If you read my last post you know I've started listening to the Business Boutique podcast by Christy Wright and on this dreadfully soggy morning commute, I listened to her talk about how to share our stories. I don't mean talking about how you started your business and the steps you went through; it's the deeper tug at your heart that sits at the root of your "why", the long nights, the tears, the struggles, the things in your past that have given you the strength to stand up and say "I can do this, I am strong enough". You may not always feel this strength but it's there and it drives you to follow your heart and embrace your passion and run your business the way YOU want to run it. The Easy Answer. I've talked about my why before and it usually starts with the fact that my mother died at only 35 years old after a three year battle with cancer. I remember seeing my birth certificate for the first time and although I have no memory of my mom wielding a professional camera, her profession was listed on my birth certificate as "Photographer". I don't have a photographic memory, but I VIVIDLY remember that little yellow tattered birth certificate and the effect it had on me. I distinctly remember asking my grandfather for a camera when I was maybe 13 or 14 and he bought me my first Canon (a Canon Rebel 35mm to be exact). My Dad and stepmom weren't so happy about this, feeling that I was too young and irresponsible to have this expensive piece of equipment, so the camera sat in the top of their closet, hidden away until I was a senior in High School. At that point I was finally able to explore photography and knew that in some way, shape or form it would always be a part of my life, even if it wasn't my profession. It would be easy to stop my story there and say "I do what I do because my mom was a photographer" but if I'm being honest with myself, it's far more complex. Befriending the Broken. I've always felt a need to help people, make them feel cared for, loved, supported and that they mattered. Looking back at my close friends over the years (which was never a very long list), I was always drawn to those souls who'd gone through very tough circumstances despite their age- parents passing away, walking out on them or going through ugly divorces, living at or below the poverty line, constantly being moved around as a military child, abuse by parents or significant others, drugs & alcohol abuse, forced abortions, the list could go on. It was like I could see past their walls to a kid (just like me) who needed SOMEONE, ANYONE to tell them that they were WORTHY, that they were LOVED, that they MATTERED. I saw their pain and I wanted to help. This kind of approach to my relationships with others has guided me through my own worst personal tragedies and allowed me to heal by first helping others to heal. When I look at how this affects me as a photographer, one of my biggest goals for my clients is to help empower them to tell their stories, so that they can embrace the things that have given them strength; allow them to connect on a deeper level with their clients, friends, family and support systems and remind them of that strength through visual imagery. The Life she didn't get to Live. The other piece of this puzzle is not the fact that my mom passed away at 35, it's the fact that I am getting to live the life that she never got the chance to experience. It brings me to tears anytime it hits me that by this time in my mothers life, she was about to find out that she had an aggressive, invasive cancer that the doctors just couldn't seem to explain or fight. THIRTY TWO. That's it... just thirty two years old when she was thrust headfirst into a three year fight for a life that would be cut WAY too short. If I don't honor her and go after my dreams and embrace my strengths and grow as a person, what justice does that give to lives like hers, ended way too early? I used to get upset by the fact that I didn't get a chance to know her better. What made her tick? Was she emotional about little things or was she a rock of strength? What were her favorite jokes to tell? What were her favorite memories growing up? What made her feel safe, comfortable, relaxed, happy, joyful? Would we have been best friends now that I am in my 30's? But as I have gotten older, I realize that at 32, my mom was just starting to get to know herself... I'll never know what it's like to pick up the phone and call my mom just to say "hi" or chat about my day but I DO know that I'm FAR from the only person out there who's gone through something like this and if I can bring joy, healing, love and understanding to others through my gifts then that, to me, is the next best thing. I DO believe that I've had enough teary-eyed moments for one morning, but I hope that this post will encourage you to explore your own creative stories. Start a little journal it's helpful but get it out! Don't be afraid to hold your breath, plug your nose & dive into the deep end; really think about those moments in your life, as you've grown, that have shaped who you are and that have guided your values and your relationships with those around you. You don't have to share every intimate detail with the world but know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are not alone in your struggles, in your fears and in your worries... people will connect with these parts of your story and by sharing your story, you could literally change their life.
Thanks for listening :) Evelyn
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