If you read my last post you know I've started listening to the Business Boutique podcast by Christy Wright and on this dreadfully soggy morning commute, I listened to her talk about how to share our stories. I don't mean talking about how you started your business and the steps you went through; it's the deeper tug at your heart that sits at the root of your "why", the long nights, the tears, the struggles, the things in your past that have given you the strength to stand up and say "I can do this, I am strong enough". You may not always feel this strength but it's there and it drives you to follow your heart and embrace your passion and run your business the way YOU want to run it. The Easy Answer. I've talked about my why before and it usually starts with the fact that my mother died at only 35 years old after a three year battle with cancer. I remember seeing my birth certificate for the first time and although I have no memory of my mom wielding a professional camera, her profession was listed on my birth certificate as "Photographer". I don't have a photographic memory, but I VIVIDLY remember that little yellow tattered birth certificate and the effect it had on me. I distinctly remember asking my grandfather for a camera when I was maybe 13 or 14 and he bought me my first Canon (a Canon Rebel 35mm to be exact). My Dad and stepmom weren't so happy about this, feeling that I was too young and irresponsible to have this expensive piece of equipment, so the camera sat in the top of their closet, hidden away until I was a senior in High School. At that point I was finally able to explore photography and knew that in some way, shape or form it would always be a part of my life, even if it wasn't my profession. It would be easy to stop my story there and say "I do what I do because my mom was a photographer" but if I'm being honest with myself, it's far more complex. Befriending the Broken. I've always felt a need to help people, make them feel cared for, loved, supported and that they mattered. Looking back at my close friends over the years (which was never a very long list), I was always drawn to those souls who'd gone through very tough circumstances despite their age- parents passing away, walking out on them or going through ugly divorces, living at or below the poverty line, constantly being moved around as a military child, abuse by parents or significant others, drugs & alcohol abuse, forced abortions, the list could go on. It was like I could see past their walls to a kid (just like me) who needed SOMEONE, ANYONE to tell them that they were WORTHY, that they were LOVED, that they MATTERED. I saw their pain and I wanted to help. This kind of approach to my relationships with others has guided me through my own worst personal tragedies and allowed me to heal by first helping others to heal. When I look at how this affects me as a photographer, one of my biggest goals for my clients is to help empower them to tell their stories, so that they can embrace the things that have given them strength; allow them to connect on a deeper level with their clients, friends, family and support systems and remind them of that strength through visual imagery. The Life she didn't get to Live. The other piece of this puzzle is not the fact that my mom passed away at 35, it's the fact that I am getting to live the life that she never got the chance to experience. It brings me to tears anytime it hits me that by this time in my mothers life, she was about to find out that she had an aggressive, invasive cancer that the doctors just couldn't seem to explain or fight. THIRTY TWO. That's it... just thirty two years old when she was thrust headfirst into a three year fight for a life that would be cut WAY too short. If I don't honor her and go after my dreams and embrace my strengths and grow as a person, what justice does that give to lives like hers, ended way too early? I used to get upset by the fact that I didn't get a chance to know her better. What made her tick? Was she emotional about little things or was she a rock of strength? What were her favorite jokes to tell? What were her favorite memories growing up? What made her feel safe, comfortable, relaxed, happy, joyful? Would we have been best friends now that I am in my 30's? But as I have gotten older, I realize that at 32, my mom was just starting to get to know herself... I'll never know what it's like to pick up the phone and call my mom just to say "hi" or chat about my day but I DO know that I'm FAR from the only person out there who's gone through something like this and if I can bring joy, healing, love and understanding to others through my gifts then that, to me, is the next best thing. I DO believe that I've had enough teary-eyed moments for one morning, but I hope that this post will encourage you to explore your own creative stories. Start a little journal it's helpful but get it out! Don't be afraid to hold your breath, plug your nose & dive into the deep end; really think about those moments in your life, as you've grown, that have shaped who you are and that have guided your values and your relationships with those around you. You don't have to share every intimate detail with the world but know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are not alone in your struggles, in your fears and in your worries... people will connect with these parts of your story and by sharing your story, you could literally change their life.
Thanks for listening :) Evelyn
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Since starting my full time job in Atlanta, complete with an hour long drive each direction, I've started listening to podcasts during my commute. One of my staples is The Dave Ramsey Show, but I really wanted to find something more motivational for business and marketing. I kept hearing Dave mention his daughter Christy Wright and her Business Boutique podcast, so I decided to give it a listen this morning and I'm so glad I did! I was inspired by her latest podcast, so much so that I felt the need to spend a little time sharing my takeaways from it with you The podcast, Ep 93: Become A Woman Who Supports Other Women - which you should totally give a listen to no matter what business you're in - was a GREAT reminder for me that supporting and championing others is just as important as supporting and championing ourselves; in fact they go hand in hand! Christy talked about all of the negative feelings we often project onto others out of fear, jealousy and uncertainty about our own decisions and life choices. How often have you rolled your eyes because someone has chosen to live their life differently than you? Or made passive aggressive remarks meant to serve as "advice" for someone when it REALLY wasn't necessary? What about those feelings you get when you see someone parenting their child differently than you? Or when someone at work gets a promotion and instead of being happy for them you allow the little jealousy monster rear it's ugly head? All of these are so common in our everyday life that they can fly under the radar until one day we wake up and realize that "no matter where we are standing, we're always looking down on someone else". If you're like me, you need little "wake up calls" and reminders like this- especially as life gets busy! We have the ability to turn this around each and every day and become cheerleaders and champions of other women and in turn feel better about our own place in the world.
"The reason we’re so quick to judge women with decisions different from ours is simply because we’re not completely comfortable with our own choices." - Christy Wright Christy goes over 5 ways to become a woman who supports other women and I will share a quick overview of them here but you'll have to go listen to the podcast to find out more, and I'm telling you, it's WORTH the listen! 1. Love yourself. We are our worst critics- if we aren't taking the time to learn to LOVE ourselves, we aren't going to have any love to offer to others! "You can't offer something you don't have", so if you want to become a woman who supports and champions other women, you have to support and champion yourself first! 2. Be confident in your own choices. This point was one of my biggest "AHA" moments during this podcast. It is something I know deep down that I have always struggled with. I can be stubborn to a T but when it comes to being confident in my choices, I can still falter. The negative feelings that come along with being an emotional person who takes things personally make it more difficult to be confident in myself, my businesses and my work. Instead of being confident, I catch myself looking to others for validation of my work or comparing my business to other peoples businesses. This can get TOXIC fast. I do feel that the older I get the easier it has been to catch myself doing these things but it is something I will have to continue to work at diligently! 3. Give grace. This is BIG. If you're like me and tend to take things personally, it can be difficult to have patience and grace with others when they let you down or disappoint you. We are ALL going to mess up, ALL of us. Keeping this in mind should make it a bit easier to give grace but not always. This is why we need these little reminders now and then! 4. Have Empathy. To have Empathy is to try and imagine what it's like to be in someone else’s shoes. It’s learning to give people the benefit of the doubt, even if you don't feel naturally "wired" to do so. If you tend to be cynical and un-trusting of others this might be something that takes practice and discipline- but don't all things worth having take practice and discipline?? We're naturally selfish creatures, looking at life through our own eyes & feelings, making it hard to see why someone would react to situations so differently or make such radically different choices than we would, but this is where empathy comes in and allows us to champion others despite our differences! 5. Give what you want to get. "If you want people to champion you, champion them. If you want people to love you, love them. If you want people to be kind to you, be kind to them." Here's the beautiful thing, anyone can be the kind of woman who champions other women. By practicing the five things listed above, you will be surprised at how quickly you can move from wanting to be the kind of person who supports others, to the kind of person who actually does it! I would love to hear your thoughts on these five practices and if you struggle more with some of these than others. I know that for me, confidence is the big one but it is also the one that I try to find time to focus on regularly (especially when things aren't going so hot in life). I have always felt called to support others and help them to be successful and realize their worth which is why my niche has become to work closely with small businesses, makers, artists, creatives, freelancers and anyone who needs people on their team who will root for them, care about their success and champion them throughout their journeys! Until next time, go out and tell your stories and always be your true authentic self!! Evelyn B. |
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